Sing for me, K.D.

"The Consequences Of Falling"

Are you breathing 

What I'm breathing 

Are your wishes 

The same as mine 

Are you needing 

What I'm needing 

I'm waiting for a sign 

My hands tremble 

My heart aches 

Is it you calling 

Is it you calling

If I'm alone in this 

I don't think I can face 

The consequences of falling 

Are you thinking 

What I'm thinking 

Does your pulse 

Quicken like mine 

Are you dreaming 

What I'm dreaming 

I can't read your mind 

One step towards you 

Two steps back 

Feels like I'm crawling 

Feels like I'm crawling

If I'm alone in this 

I don't think I can face 

The consequences of falling

At my weakest I am stronger than you.

What mom says.

Now it's that I'll never be able to get a place to live because no one will rent to me because I've messed up my credit with all these bills I'm behind on and if I'd just let her help by letting her go through all of my papers and organize everything so I can do things on her schedule then everything would be fine and my life would be better. Obviously.

Story of my life:

I stay because... #1

When I am sick he makes me tea.

But you always really knew, I just wanna be with you.

But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you. 

You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha. 

Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,

Do you have to let it linger? 

Only myself to blame

The most painful thing I've ever done is watch the man I might love, love someone else.

Much Ado About Nothing

One of my favorite Shakespeare plays anyway, it was further endeared to me when I saw the version starring David Tennant and Catherine Tate and Whedon's version pretty much cemented its place at the top of the list.

Obviously

...I know nothing about apartments. It's not like I've spent the last 8 months looking at every house and apartment complex in a 2 hour radius or anything. Silly me, of course there aren't any places that include washer/dryers! And obviously I should be budgeting almost $500 in add ons in electricity and water and sewer for just one person. Celebration is obviously the only place to live, even though we hated it there. I'm just a stupid little girl. Dear me.

Is it wrong to want?

I should be over all the butterflies...

Not Alone

Hearing everyone else in the locker room complain about having to be at work so early makes me feel better about being at work so early because it tells me I am not alone and that's important.

Lately I've thought

Stuggle

"But the thing is, you can’t really get it wrong. Struggle isn’t the same thing as failure, and not having everything (or anything) figured out isn’t a mandate on who you are as a person. After some or a lot of slogging, you’ll get something to do. You will have a place to live and stuff to fill it with, and you will find the people who make you feel like the best version of yourself. You can carve out your own spaces and take big chances even when you have dental bills to pay."

The throbbing ache that is currently consuming both my entire legs is drowning out my ability to be positive. This two jobs, full shifts, same day thing is going to make me physically sick. I need more cuddles to help my immune system so I don't catch the flu. Or just a decent job where I can sit.

Not that I'd know, but...

...that feeling you get when you sink into your mattress after a 16 hour work day, that relief you get, right before your throbbing feet and aching knees make their displeasure known, because you can finally rest for a little while, that feeling? There's no way an orgasm feels as good as that.

I'm not picky

Except when I am. I am strangely picky. For example, I love eating plain milk chocolate Hershey bars, but it's got to be  regular, not king size or family size, just plain ol' tiny Hershey's bar. When the pieces are big it's harder to snap them along the lines and if you don't snap then along the lines, well, then it's just not worth eating.